Ibiza Kepone

by Rat Patrol

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about

Recorded at the Gatehouse, Ommelanderwijk, by Tsar Fat Peter Sharky Haaima "El Gordo" the Great

credits

released April 1, 2008

Roelsel - Vocals; Henry - Drums, Vocals; Pjotr - Guitar; Jansel - Bass, Vocals

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Rat Patrol Groningen, The Netherlands

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Track Name: Crisis - What Crisis
Grown six inches around my waist I’m getting deaf, I’ve lost my taste My teeth are costing me a fortune My face is one big red balloon Refrein ‘Ah, midlife crisis’ they say But this ain’t midlife, no way! Midlife’s at least 15 years ago I hope I still got 5 more years to go When I piss, can’t see my dick My reflection makes me sick My swollen liver and my white tongue Match well indeed with my black lungs Refrein (2x) ‘Ah, midlife crisis’ they say But this ain’t midlife, no way! Midlife’s at least 15 years ago I hope I still got 5 more years to go Look at me pathetic clown Not getting better, just going down (thank you Deluxe Green!) I’m losing hair instead of weight Became the guy I used to hate Words: Roelsel; Music: Jansel/Rat Patrol
Track Name: Total Recall
Who needs a Governor called ‘Gray’? My buddy Clint said ‘make my day’ I intend to make Gray fall It’s gonna be a total recall I’m the king of one line nonsense Hasta la vista, see you later Austria raises such great leaders I will soon be Governator Remember Gray, I promised to kill you last? I lied, your governing days are past Thanks to the promises I won’t keep This recall campaign’s a total sweep Chorus Now California is über alles again Our Capital will be Austrian Oakland I will turn this state into a mess Like this other clown I say ‘God bless’ (‘Grüß Gott!’) Settle differences with fists and guns That’s what I did in all my movies But now this recall campaign is done I’ll settle nothing, ain’t that groovy? I’m the king of one line nonsense Hasta la vista, see you later Austria raises such great leaders I am now your Governator (Words: Roelsel; Music: Jansel/Rat Patrol)
Track Name: NIMBY
I'm not a racist - Until my daughter brings home this spic I'm not a sexist - But aren't all blondes really dumb I'm not a rapist - But the way she dresses she deserves it I don't hate tourists - As long as they speak Dutch Give shelter to the refugees - Not in my backyard! Play buddy to the deadly diseased - Not in my backyard! Junkie whores can walk the streets - Not in my backyard! Nuclear power is really neat, but - Not in my backyard! I don't hate gay guys - Until they turn their attention on me I don't hate Muslims - But they want to rule my world I don't hate Afghans - As long as they fight their wars at home I don't hate vagrants - Just stay out of my backyard! I'm not a racist - Until my daughter brings home this spic I'm not a sexist - But aren't all blondes really dumb I'm not a rapist - But the way she dresses she deserves it I don't hate tourists - As long as they speak Dutch (Words: Roelsel, Music: Jansel/Rat Patrol)
Track Name: Joey Dickface
This is the story of a fat and ugly boy He never had no fun and he never had no joy He came into this world in a snake pit of a town It must have been his destiny to be the local clown Refrein: Joey Dickface, always out of luck Joey Dickface, never had a good fuck His mother and his father must have made a mistake The fact that he was born was Joey’s only lucky break The centre of aggression all throughout his high school years He seemed to wear red glasses, cause he shed so many tears By the time that he got 18 he had gone completely barmy Had nowhere left to go, so of course he joined the army Refrein: Joey Dickface, always out of luck Joey Dickface, never had a good fuck His mother and his father must have made a mistake The fact that he was born was Joey’s only lucky break Now Joey is a major and has gained a lot of power He’s still the same old dickface, fucking soldiers in the shower The fat and ugly boy has become an ugly man But no one calls him clown no more, so shoot him if you can Refrein: Joey Dickface, now seems to be in luck Joey Dickface, thinks he has a good fuck The people in the army must have made a mistake To give this raving lunatic his second lucky break (Words: Roelsel; Music: Jansel/Deluxe Green)
Track Name: Butthole Scan
Look in my eyes - and I'll tell you who you are Friend or foe - you know we're at war! Give me your hand - put your fingertip here I'll read the lines - just ‘cause I fear! Refrein: We will read your mail and tap your phone mine our databases, catch all bomb-phrases Freedom of speech, but only if we agree One word is enough to make our buzzers buzz Look in my eyes - and I'll tell you who you are Friend or foe - you know we're at war! Please bend over - a butthole scan See what comes out - just ‘cause I fear! Refrein: We know you download Dixie Chicks, Rock Against Bush we don't need Your VISA bill says it all, we know you want to watch Michael Moore Our satellites now survey your home, 24 on 24 You bet things have improved since 1984 (Words: henry; Music: Pjotr/Rat Patrol)
Track Name: Guttural Noise
Want a world that’s free from hate? Never mind ‘cause it’s too late Refrein It’s over now Didn’t care anyhow What’s the answer? I don’t know Want to live a life that’s great? Never mind ‘cause it’s too late Refrein It’s over now Didn’t care anyhow What’s the answer? I don’t know AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! Do you want to change your fate? Never mind ‘cause it’s too late Refrein It’s over now Didn’t care anyhow What’s the answer? I don’t know (Words: Roelsel; Music: Rat Patrol)
Track Name: De Vegt
I'm trying to picture him in the good old days, Ferociously swinging his legs at Nelly the Elephant and Moped Lads, The highest jumps when pogoing on GBH. Singing along with MDC, what fun we had… De Vegt is dead and I can't believe he's gone Heroin suicide, steppin' stone. I remember the Test Tube Babies gig, Completely hungover, the next morning feeling sick, The Marian 'big women' vomit kiss, The laughs we had when painting the Anti Nowhere League fist… But then he got grabbed by drugs, From hash to pills, from speed to heroin… Nothing to lose, nothing to gain, Saw his life go down the drain! Last time I met him at the Zeke gig, He said he was doing OK, But the look in his eyes made me sad And his situation made me afraid. Then one day he made the call, said there was nothing left for him, Couldn't take it anymore and so he overdosed on heroin… Nothing to lose, Nothing to gain! De Vegt is dead and I can't believe he's gone. De Vegt is dead and I can't believe he's gone … (Words: Jansel; Music: Pjotr/Rat Patrol)
Track Name: Golden Oldies
Wake up in the morning and hit the shower always seems to be my happiest hour. Tends to take my thoughts off everyday reality, a simple private moment where I can be who I want to be. The Rat Patrol has joined the rat race. It's all about not losing face. Acting punk but being square, want to belong but don't know where. Rat Patrol plays Simplon, what a great nostalgic trip! Makes me feel I'm David Bowie, want to leave this sinking ship. "Rat Patrol are Golden Oldies, fourty- something going strong!". Makes me feel I'm Johnny Rotten, just don't know where to belong. The Rat Patrol has joined the rat race. It's all about not losing face. Acting punk but being square, want to belong but don't know where. What keeps me going is my music, getting better all the time, but I won't be there to prove it, 'cause I'm working all the time. Rat Patrol sets an example, radical in thought and action! Makes me feel I'm Mick Jagger, just can't get no satisfaction. (Words: Roelsel; Music: Rat Patrol)
Track Name: What's Wrong With Me
What the hell is wrong with me Have I been caught by worldwide stupidity Zapping along all the channels Including TMF and MTV Expensive cars, jewellery and rappers in fur coats DoubleD babes dancing without clothes SMS messages flashing at the bottom of the screen Asking the most stupid questions you’ve ever seen What does goo taste like, can my girlfriend get pregnant if I eat her Do you like a pussy hairy, or do you prefer bald beaver’ Plain on screen sex while young kids watch TV Wondering if it’s all real, this world they’ve been witnessed to see Fake images about a world that doesn’t exist Gangsta video clips by so-called artists Stuffed with commercials that tell what’s hip and what to buy Fashion flicks with brainless blondes who never seem to try It tells you how to act and how to look good and what to wear Try to fit in their role model otherwise you won’t get in there Kids look up to a fake world as brought to you by your TV And I’m watching TMF and MTV… What the hell is wrong with me… Words: Jansel, maimed by Roelsel; Music: Pjotr/Rat Patrol
Track Name: Be Right Back
Have you heard the latest news About the Balkan concentration camps? Join us for some inside views On NATO’s intervention plans Refrein We’ll be right back, don’t go away Watch these messages our sponsors want to play This news is brought live onto your screens With important news from Pepsi in between Okay, war is cruel, war’s a bitch It’s big money too, our fingers itch The NATO armies turn their war Into a fucking television show Damage is called ‘collateral’ As if they’re playing fucking Nintendo Refrein We’ll be right back, don’t go away Watch these messages our sponsors want to play This news is brought live onto your screens With important news from Pepsi in between Okay, war is cruel, war’s a bitch It’s big money too, our fingers itch (Words: Roelsel; Music: Rat Patrol)
Track Name: Sphinx
I heard this singer yelling blitzkrieg bop. Started yelling with him, just couldn't stop. Pumped up the volume, played it louder and louder. Girlfriend got mad so I got on without her. Joey Ramone, the all time punk rock sphinx. Changed my views on music forever. The king of punk ran into a jinx. Killed by a cancer, lives on forever Blue jeans, leather jacket, dark sunglasses This seven foot giant always looked like a spider Knew nothing about him, except he was brilliant All the time his audience grew wider and wider Wish we could take him to the Pet Sematary Bring him back to life, never to be buried Couldn't sing, still he did his thing Ultimate punk rocker keeps on living (Words: Roelsel; Music: Rat Patrol)
Track Name: Wannabe
WANNABE I want to have a red Ferrari And a suit made by Armani I want to have a Spanish villa And the furniture to fill it Refrein: So this is what I’ll have I’m a must have bitch You know what I wannabe? I wannabe filthy rich! I want to have the biggest yacht All the best that can be bought A Puerto Banus parking space A private chauffeur every day Refrein: So this is what I’ll have I’m a must have bitch You know what I wannabe? I wannabe filthy rich! All these things my money can buy My life is a precious lie? As I said to my fifth wife Isn’t this a wonderful life? Refrein: So this is what I’ll have I’m a must have bitch You know what I wannabe? I wannabe filthy rich! (Words: Roelsel; Music: Jansel/Rat Patrol)
Track Name: Saw
Every real change comes with real pain We have to deal with loss if we really want to gain We find true love and we’ll leave our families In order to grow we must cut branches off our trees We seem to be stuck and we seem to lose our nerve We know our so-called happiness is more than we deserve Refrein: FUCK – How did we fall into this trap? FUCK – We know our lives are full of crap DAMN – All we do is trip and stumble FUCK – We see our safety die and crumble Everything we thought we knew to be right suddenly seems so untrue We realize that we can’t sleep at night, because we found something new Everyday life seems to stretch out its claw and it cuts us like a knife We realize that might need a saw in order to get a new life To hell with so-called happiness, to hell with our great lives Why don’t we leave our families, why don’t we leave our wives? Aren’t we all just chickenshit, aren’t we all fucked up? Is there really any change, aren’t we still locked up? It took me over forty years to find out who I am Although I seem to be on top, my life ain’t worth a damn Refrein Words: Roelsel; Music: Henry/Rat Patrol
Track Name: Skinhead Aerobics
240 beats per minute, bam bam bam bam go the nitwits. dancing to skinhead aerobics, absolute dingbat genetics. Gabber Gabber Hey! cramped into a massive dancehall, stuck so tight they cannot fall. heads are bold and skull are hollow, wasted by the pills they swallow. Gabber Gabber Hey! lyrics deal with Peppi Kokki. big-assed girls are saying 'fuck me'. drinking beer and eating pills, let's enjoy the gabber thrills. Gabber Gabber Hey! (Words: Roelsel; Music: Rat Patrol)
Track Name: Bleed
I wanna drug myself up, yeah I need the smack I wanna get wasted, wanna get high on crack I wanna get drunk, it goes well with the coke I wanna get high on speed, brings out the beast in me Now I’m ready to kill somebody, it really don’t matter to me Just ring a bell and get the knife, I’m gonna kill the guy on no. 43 I’m afraid of nobody, prison can’t handle me Fearless satanic serial killer, hell is where I need to be… Refrein: So we get on the bus Hit the driver and cause a fuss Harass women and molest the bus We laugh… Nobody dares to call the cops I stabbed the guy about thirty times Bloodfeast baby, blood’s spilled like wine Kicked the shit out of him when he was already dead Stabbed him in the chest, stabbed him in the head I wanna drug myself up, yeah I need the smack I wanna get wasted, wanna get high on crack I wanna get drunk, it goes well with the coke I wanna get high on speed, brings out the beast in me Refrein: So we get on the bus Hit the driver and cause a fuss Harass women and molest the bus We laugh… Nobody dares to call the cops Words: Jansel, rearranged by Roelsel; Music: Pjotr/Rat Patrol
Track Name: Bubbles
Sixteen-year-old kid shoots his teacher in the head The man dies in the OR, the country is in mourning The people are surprised, the people shake their heads One week later they tune in to Evers in the morning Aren’t we all just living in the bubbles that our soap operas create? And don’t we get our worldviews from watching MTV ‘till late? The people are not ‘tolerant’, the people just don’t care ‘Shit happens here, shit happens there, shit happens everywhere’ It happens in OnM, it happens in ER The one exception to this rule are those friendly Bauers Chorus What the hell is wrong with us, have we all gone brain dead? Since when did pimps and gangsters become our national heroes? We don’t need personalities, we need Barbie clones instead Who in turn are mostly referred to as ‘dumb bitches and ho’s’ The garbage from our TV sets, it offers instant pleasure We keep our curtains tightly drawn, we cannot stand the pressure Kids in the streets talk about blood, honour and revenge We look at Jim and Jamai blowing kisses to their fans Chorus (Words: Roelsel; Music: Jansel/Rat Patrol)
Track Name: Priorities
A guy lives with his family in Beijing, and suddenly his house goes down in flames His wife and kids don’t really mean a thing, all he wants to do is watch the game He plugs his TV set out of the wall, he’s looking for a place to plug it in AGAIN! It’s Holland-Argentina after all, he’ll make a lot of money if he wins HIS BET! Fuck unimportant things, ‘cause they can wait It’s all about priorities, so set them straight Don’t waste time on futile stuff, ‘cause it won’t pay Realize enough’s enough for a single day It’s just me, myself and I OKAY! Never really questioning why NO WAY! I’m important after all THAT’S RIGHT! Let the others take the fall THEY MIGHT! Our Government’s residing in The Hague, the ministers are sticking to their chairs They’re spreading out an ugly filthy stink, they’re fornicating in their dragon’s lair So what if there’s no longer any trust, they want to keep their office anyway SO NICE! As long as their positions are intact, they don’t care if this country has to pay THE PRICE! Words: Roelsel; Music: Pjotr/Rat Patrol
Track Name: Locked Up (Bonus)
Turning points in our lives, don't know what to do. We all get our chances, matters we can't see through. Finding goals in our lives, something which is rarely done. Options, we take 'em or leave 'em, before we know it our chances are gone. Everybody has the right to decide, yet finally there's always rules to abide. Sleazy little streetbum, executive yup, we're all locked up. In pursuit of happiness we lose our principles. What it all boils down to is that we're all disciples of our petty values, no-one wants to hurt himself. We're all so self-centred, we turn this place into living hell. We all claim to be strong, but we know we're lying. There are many moments that we feel like dying. Once we make up our minds we are proven wrong. Once we make up our minds we are proven so goddamned wrong (Lyrics: Roelsel; Music: Jansel/Rat Patrol)